Be a Small Talk Survivor this Holiday Party Season!

Does the thought of attending one more open house, business event, or social gathering this holiday season make you want to throw yourself overboard? You are not alone. Many people become nervous or apprehensive when meeting new people and starting new conversations. It can be difficult to enter a room and be ambushed by new faces everywhere you turn. Meeting all these new faces and engaging in conversation can be exhausting. But it does not have to be this way.

Become a small talk survivor. Small talk survivors turn these situations into opportunities for success. These holiday events all have the potential to become great networking possibilities

Whether you are at a business meet and greet or a neighbor’s holiday get together, you can use conversational skills as a tool with which to build new connections, while avoiding awkward pauses and uncomfortable conversations. After all, any relationship starts with small talk.

The first step in becoming a small talk survivor is realizing just how important conversational skills are. Mastering the art of small talk is not only essential in forming new relationships, but also in creating lasting impressions. With the right approach and preparation anyone can become a skilled conversationalist. Great small talkers are made, not born.

The next time you find yourself at a holiday function, try one of these top ten icebreakers:

1. “How do you know the host/hostess”?
   


2. “What are some of your family holiday traditions?”



3. “Since we have last gotten together, what is new with your family/work?
   


4. “Tell me about your plans for this holiday season…”



5. “What is your favorite thing about the holiday season? Why?”



6. “Bring me up to date on what you have coming up/planned for the upcoming year?”
   


7. “Describe your typical holiday festivities…”
   


8. “What special gifts do you have planned to give this year?”



9. “What was the best gift you ever received? Why?”



10. “How does the holiday season impact your work/industry?”
    

Once you have broken the ice, follow these important tips to ensure your small talk success:

• Don’t rush through conversations. Take your time and be sure to remember names and use them frequently during conversations.



• Show an interest in every person you meet. By showing an interest you are creating a favorable impression of yourself.
  


• Be prepared. Before entering an event, take a couple minutes and think of at least three conversation points or topics. If you happen to encounter an uncomfortable silence, these conversation points will always come in handy.



• Always maintain eye contact. Eye contact is an easy way to make others feel comfortable, important, and special.



• Act confident through your body language, even if you are not. Nervous body language can make others uncomfortable and anxious. Try to be aware of your body language throughout conversations.



• Be a careful listener. By listening intently to what others are saying, you are not only making them feel important, but you can use information you gather to keep the conversation going.



• Make people feel special. People, even shy ones, like to talk about themselves, so let them.



• Don’t steal the show, and don’t let others steal the show either. Try to give everyone in an interaction the opportunity to speak and let their opinions be heard. If someone else is monopolizing a conversation, wait until a pause or that person takes a breath and then makes a comment that can steer the conversation in a new direction. Or include someone who has not been heard from or is new to the conversation by asking, “What is your opinion on this?” or “What are your views on this issue?”



• Be appropriate. In certain settings some topics may not be suitable. And be careful when asking about spouses or relationships, you may end up regretting it.



• Don’t interrogate a conversational partner. Questions like: “Where are you from?” “Are you married?” and “What do you do for a living?” can stop a conversation before it ever really starts.



• Be respectful of the opinions of others. Not everyone agrees on things, and friendly disagreements can be a gateway to a great conversation.



• Have exit lines prepared. You will probably want to mingle with several people around the room.

This holiday season every new face is a new opportunity for conversational success. Don’t find yourself voted off the island, use the tips provided here to help guarantee you will be a small talk survivor!

Top Ten Holiday Office Party Blunders

We are all invited to open houses, office parties and holiday dinners. Some of us are dragged! Here are some tips to turn those occasions into opportunities for success!

1. Skip the Party
Thinking of not attending? Think twice. Your presence is mandatory if you expect to attain or maintain visibility within your organization. If office parties are your idea of a root canal approach the party as a task that you will succeed at making into a worthwhile investment of your time.

2. Forget to Wear Your Smile and Make a Positive Impression
This is the time to make those around you feel comfortable and enjoy getting to know you. Appear approachable in your body language with good posture (no slouching!), eye contact and a warm smile. Appear relaxed even if you have to fake it, as no one wants to spend time with someone ill-at-ease or nervous. You participate in activities, devote time to hobbies, maybe you like sports and travel. You might even have attended the same school as someone you work with. This is the time to find out. Anyone will be delighted to learn that members of their team are actually multi-faceted human beings.

3. Drag Along Un-Invited Guests
Get a babysitter! Odds are great that your colleagues do not share in your delight for your children's company. It has become less common to have family members at parties due to budget cuts. Bring your spouse or partner if it is clear that is the expectation. Never make assumptions.

4. Make Assumptions About Who You Are Talking To
Are you certain of this person's position or alliances within the company? Probably not, so skip the gossip and negative comments of any kind. Prepare by reviewing a company directory in order know people's names and be ready for introductions

5. Wear Your "Cup Runneth Over" Cleavage or Your Tattered Harley Davidson T-Shirt
Despite encouragement from the executive suite that the office holiday party is a great time to "enjoy", "relax" and "just have fun," odds are that does not mean wear the clothes you are the most relaxed in or have the most fun in, be it skimpy tops, or the jeans you wore to the Blink 182 concert. Imagine how unsettling it is to see extra skin on the boss or cubicle buddy, or what an unprofessional lasting image those jeans left behind. And its an image not quickly forgotten when you are at your next quarterly revenue meeting requesting additional budget increases.


6. Get Drunk and Tell Your Boss How You REALLY Feel
Cocktails make for loose lips that sink ships! Watch your intake to insure your mind moves faster than your mouth. Abstinence for this party is a wise and risk free plan.
Anxiety is directly related to increased alcohol intake so if you must imbibe, just take a few sips, or water down your drink so it lasts a lot longer. As friendly as your boss is at the office party this is not the time to ask for a raise, mention a friend who is looking for a job, or offer your opinion about the lousy coffee provided the break room.

7. Limit Your Conversation to "Shop Talk"
You approach the Manager of Test, introduce yourself and then, well, what do you say? Guess what? He or she is probably is not hoping for an update on the project your team is in the thick of. If you like, you can keep the conversation work-related, just not specific to the current work you are doing: "Tell me about your career path in human resources..." or some favorites opening for these occasions: "What keeps you busy outside of work?" or "Tell me about your holiday plans...". People enjoy talking about themselves, especially when they perceive a genuine interest.

8. Mingle Only With Your Best Office Cronies
It is tempting to remain in your comfort zone, talking with the people you meet regularly within your department or enjoy lunch with a couple times a week. Instead, your company party may be the only time you have all year for a face to face conversation with the CEO. The office party is an opportunity to get to know new people and enjoy the chance for others to get to know you. Invest the effort in making sure the people who should know that you are there, know that you are there. Circle the room and say hello to your boss, her husband and other decision makers and executives. Push yourself and introduce yourself to people you don't know.

9. Leave Manners to the Etiquette Experts
If the invitation requires a RSVP, promptly respond either way; if the office party is being hosted at a home, bring a host/hostess gift; and even if the party is in a grand ballroom, thank your hosts or boss before you leave. If the boss is accompanied by his or her spouse do not wait to be "properly introduced" or you will be taken for a snob. Treat the service people as you would members of your family with graciousness and kindness. And do not be the last to leave a party, you do not want to be remembered as the last person to take leave of the party.


10. Assume People Will Forget Your Blunder
So, you stepped in it. You insisted that children in private schools gained a far better education. You expressed your disgust with those that purchase foreign cars rather than American made and she's drives a BMW. You shared an anecdote that is inappropriate. Now make amends. Apologize. Let your boss or team mate know what happened before they hear it through the grapevine. Get out in front of the problem. The mistake might not matter as much as how you handle what comes after it, experts say. So deal with it and move on.